i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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