It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
