hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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