Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
