Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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