I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
