Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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