Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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