At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
