I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Randomize
