I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
