He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
