Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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