I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
