i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
