He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
