im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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