he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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