I cockslap morals
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Terrible idea I love it
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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