my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
