She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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