i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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