Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
