you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
ugly people sure do ruin things
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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