I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
