Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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