I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
