Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
did i just pee glitter
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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