We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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