i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We're too hungover to prance.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
