She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
