What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
