Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
