a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
