What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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