Your tits are I can't wait for
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
