I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
