Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
