I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
