If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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