Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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