Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
