It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize