I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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