I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
