Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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