she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
