Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
