Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
