So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
