He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize