Kiss
Puke
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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