so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I need a beard to bite.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize