Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
