My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
