remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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