dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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