you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize