I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
