Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
