I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
