I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
