They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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