You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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