Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
