I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
